Death and the Surreal

On the plane to New Orleans, I experienced something pretty unexpected. The plane had hit a heavy amount of turbulence, for a good minute or so people were looking around worried as the captain reassured the passengers that everything was fine. I was reading a book and listening to music when I suddenly stopped and started to think of the plane crashing. I wasn't feeling anxious or scarred, more of a relaxed almost wishful anticipation, I felt an extreme calmness that I've never heard of except in what I guess people talk about in their religious experiences as endorphins and nerves run up and down their bodies. Not tuning out the music, but not hearing it either, I was not concerned with anything really, felt a bit like an out of body experience. Nothing was pressing on my mind, no thoughts of friends, family, how short lived I was, or even the highest of probability that death wasn't going to happen anyways. an ode to religious experiences.



Old men like me just tuck our shirts in, too busy running out of time.

Writing

I was very discouraged to hear that we would be doing a blog in our class. Not so much opposed to the writing, but opposed to the idea that my words and ideas would be open to the public, since I carefully choose what subject to talk about and how to go about it, with each person, I didn't like the idea of it being open to everyone to pick apart, even though I don't think anyone has the time or mostly the want to bother on such things as blogs, there is always the possibility. It ended up encouraging me to write more, and I think just through the act of constant writing, whether it be all at one time or a consistent blog a day, I think my writing and everyone's writing has probably progressed a good amount. Not to mention that I have been slightly enjoying it, and I think i'll keep writing, however not online, and not on topics such as oil, and what i did today, and that sort of thing, those topics that are there to fill up another blog for an assignment, but I think it would help my writing in general if I kept it up. Hard concepts: practice and consistency makes people better at things...Not only that but it has made me appreciate authors and notice things in writings that I normally wouldn't notice, because of the appreciation of how writing is often times pretty difficult to convey certain ideas in a way that you want to affect people in a certain way. Now that I look back, I apologize for never editing any of these, probably takes away from a good amount of what I have just said. Regardless, I have picked up little tips and strategies from writing on my own while writing which has been of good aid during writing projects. Things that I generally wouldn't have used. I was reading recently one of Stephen King's introductions into the series I mentioned earlier, and something that stood out is the way that he goes about writing. He says that many people go about editing their paper throughout the whole writing process, and there is nothing wrong with that, but what he likes to do is to go straight through with an idea or book, do the whole thing and then put it away for a good six months, even up to a year, then pick it up later on and edit the whole thing. I have found that strategy to be the best on my papers as well, although not having months or years to let sit, I will write the whole thing through and edit after. I think the advantage in that is that you end up getting all the ideas and concepts you wanted to get across in one smooth thought, and then fix up the language and grammar errors later, putting whatever may be more fitting in the paper, but usually if you go in one continuous sweep with your idea you wont have to fix up a whole lot, or so I've found. Cheers to the king.

Beginnings of a ballad

Based off/borrowed with twisted story line of Cahill (John wayne movie which was about the story of a son of a sheriff (who was never around, always out in the desert bringing down the criminals) who with parental negligance got mixed up in the wrong crowd and robbed a bank, later father finds out, son turns his back on outlaw ways, happy ending), mine heads down a different direction, far from finished lyrically, and may be revised what little i have, once school is done i think writings will get better, also keep in mind that this is going to tunes and makes more sense with those tunes:

As the sun beats down, a father buries his son,
solemn minded, he stands over the grave he dug,
stares into shadows, blood on his boots
a reminder to him, a reminder of you
mother sits and waits, she's waiting on two


"where have you been, you've been gone nine weeks,
said it'd be six this time, been waiting ever since,
where is my son, he's nowhere in my sight,
and what is that sweet rain falling from your eyes?
don't tell me rumors are true, that are son has not died,
tell me everything is alright,
everything is fine."

He stares slowly, wipes the sweat from his brow,
takes off his weathered hat, finds a chair,


I have a bit more, him beginning his explanation, but definitely want to change that around. The storyline is that the sheriff got caught up in a scuffle at the bank, shot few of the men dead then followed the others into the desert, where when they think they lost him he ends up arresting them, seeing one is his son he grows solemn and arrests him as well. The son convinces his father that the outlaws put him up to it, it was for the money noone was to be killed, he takes them in to be tried, the judge sentences each his life. He watches at the hanging his own son life taken, luck of the gallows, once he finishes his story his wife passes away, he takes her to the doctor to make sure, then buries her. He takes off begins robbing trains banks and the bit, knowing all the ins and outs becomes successful and never caught. Legend begins. We'll see.

2 blogs?

they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so can this count as two blogs?

Rot those teeth; they wont if you let them be

The last cleaning/check-up I had was a good three years ago, at the least. They told me on my last visit i needed to get my filling, go ahead and make an appointment at the front. I made the appointment, but the night before called and canceled, don't like the idea of people inside of my mouth regardless if they are helping. I've been going in and out of painful feelings that start in my teeth, cavities i always assumed, but never enough to bring me back. However, lately feeling responsible and on track with life I decided to get my teeth checked out, pain helps occasionally or so i hear, and probably would be economically wiser in the long run. So I headed to the dentist where they were surprised to see me, probably guessing that my dad had made me since he had been in a few months before, talked some sense into me, or something like that. <-- have to enjoy the run-ons. Figuring I would come out resembling Hannibal Lecter with blood splattering from my teeth, I wasn't surprised to see all the blood that she was able to manage getting out of my gums. What I was surprised to see was that I had passed the inspections, the x-ray testing, the sharp object prodding around, the interrogation of the necessity of coming in every so many months, all they could find was wine stains on the backs of my teeth and the possibility of removing morals (money-whores), so I got off clean, with even a supposed cavity that they were going to fill last time. To tell the truth, I don't always have time to brush my teeth three, or sometimes two times a day, I figure gum works, and so far haven't got too many cringing faces when I speak. So let them be, they'll save you money that way, and don't visit as often as they say, gives them all the more reason to dig in there with needles and drills. I made an appointment for six months.

Louisiana (and presidents) pt. 4

After trying to get away from the topic of Louisiana, I found myself reading an article in Newsweek that caught my attention. Unfortunately, I didn't get the issue number or author's name, so I apologize ahead of time for any misquotes or twisting of ideas. However still fresh in my mind I believe I can get the gist of it across. The author was talking about how Obama is untouchable, how he could do no wrong, at least in the eyes of the democrats, of course he is still unlawfully President and the anti-christ in the eyes of conservatives. However, even many conservatives didn't fully appreciate Bush, and many became wary of the idea of where the GOP was headed by the end of his second term, with good reason of course... What I was surprised to find, and had no prior knowledge to, whether it had been because the media didn't touch on it or I haven't been keeping myself updated enough, was that Obama had been endorsed by BP, and with support from his administration had allowed for the drilling in the off-shore drilling in the underwater canyon in the Gulf Coast, possibly endorsed by him, with the prior knowledge of the possibility of such an occurence happening. When the Gulf Coast began to spew a black mess by the thousands of gallons, Obama either failed to mention or failed to visit the scene of the event, and one of the things he mentioned about the spill was 'don't worry, BP is going to pay for the cleanup.' Regardless, Mr. President why endorse such a project when you want to appear green for all your democratic and green followers? And for that matter, Mr. Media and Obama lovers, why have you not ostracized our President like you did the prior? The author brought to attention the question, 'what would have happened if President Bush had done the same?' the world would have came down upon him. But why shall we turn our cheeks when Obama does the same?

God bless these waves of grain, waves of grain.

Wilde Aphorisms

Sometimes people say things better then you, and sometimes its best to get a break from your own words and enjoy others, and all the time Oscar Wilde should be the one to be chosen when in such a predicament:

" A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."

"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."

""Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."

"Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing."

"Biography lends to death a new terror."

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."

"For women it is matter over mind, for men it is mind over morals."

"I am not young enough to know everything."

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability."

"Illusion is the first of all pleasure."

"It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is fatal."

"It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information."

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."

The list goes on...

Louisiana pt. 3

Now to talk about Louisiana in a not so melancholy tone.  I went down there about three weeks ago, after promising a few of my friends that I had met in Yellowstone that I would make it down last summer, then again promising them I would make it down for Mardi Gras, which I was unable to do either.  So I told them on a whim that I would be able to make it down for Jazz Fest.  Jazz Fest is the biggest music festival, or most well-known music festival in the U.S..  The music ranged from jazz to folk to blues to classic rock.  The headlining bands were ones like Simon and Garfunkel, Allman Brothers, Levon Helm, and there were also tents set up for those who would rather relax and enjoy listening to blues or gospel while chomping on their fried alligator or catfish head.  I bought the ticket the night before, thinking I was going to let them down again, for a reasonably cheap price, then flew out in the morning.  I landed in New Orleans where my friend picked me up and we drove off to Hattiesburg, Mississippi.  Noone likes all the details...so highlights: pouring out a 40 of Budweiser (king of beers) on Elvis' front yard (couldn't get in to the tour, lack of funding), animal house frat party at Ole' Miss University of Mississippi in Oxford Town(600 32 cases of some water beer, barrels of crawfish and corn and your generic meat heads butting heads then drooling over women, what was found in the pool at the end off the night was human waste (out of all ends) a leather couch, blood, beer, and more; where a boyfriend went diving in to get his girlfriends glasses, twat), sleeping in front of Faulkner's home, going to the crossroads )where Robert Johnson sold his soul for the ability of playing perfect blues guitar), best fried food (food in general), Bourbon street, bumming it in a park in New Orleans, etc. etc..  May expand later, but wild childs in the dirty south.

Louisiana pt.2

 Louisiana has been taking the brunt of catastrophic events with little aid from the government or others.  With media attention only capturing the events and staying with them for a few weeks the idea passes through our minds quickly and without any sense of the amount of damage that has or is to be done.  People in the area and radicals are going to congress and BP's headquarters to protest, telling them that BP should be responsible for the actions that they did, whether it had been not securing the lines, or not being able to control them, or for offshore drilling in the first place when they knew the possibility of catastrophic events such as the one they find themselves in now.  It reminds me of the nuclear explosion in Chernobyl, when in heavy debate and possibility of building more plants the event may be talked about, but generally nuclear power is still looked upon as a good option.  Similar to clean coal, they just find a desert to dump it in, nuclear materials that have the potential of many deaths.  Now people still refer to nuclear power as a great option for energy,  will it take something like an oil spill (nuclear meltdown) to get people's attention that it is a bad idea?  When I was in Louisiana a few weeks ago my friends were showing me a field scattered with brand new trailers, no upkeep, no one living in them, just lines and lines of trailers placed strategically behind trees so if you were not looking for them you wouldn't see them.  However, what I saw was trailers lined for I would say at least a half mile, looking like they went pretty far back as well.  These trailers were sent to people whose homes were destroyed by Katrina, they were giving to the people when the media and the American people had felt the urge to donate enough to give these people temporary homes until they could get back on their feet.  After so much time they took away all the trailers that they had given them and put them in the field, to be put to no use, sitting out there in a field while the families still have no homes or much shelter.  Hurray for bureaucracy.

Louisiana pt.1

With the oil spill leaking anywhere from 200,000 gallons to millions of gallons a day, according to your source, BP probably saying somewhere in the lower region, we wonder how is this going to affect us.  Not necessarily just right now but in the long run, once the whole has been suctioned, plugged, or however they manage to stop the leak.  The current restaurant I work at get their crab from the Gulf of Mexico, with the usual cost being somewhere around 12 dollars every eight ounces, the price has already moved up to 16 dollars in anticipation of the shortage of seafood coming from that region and the soon to be toll it will take on the fish market.  Our restaurant doesn't heavily rely on any seafood from the gulf, most of it brought in from places in new england or the northern pacific, however areas around are going to be hit extremely hard  with the amount of jobs lost (restaurants, fishing, boating, etc.).  The only good I see coming of this is the reluctancy of wanting to be aboard the off-shore drilling point of view.   Our governor Arnold Schwarzenegger probably with many other well-known politicians have changed their views to not pushing for off-shore drilling.  It shows what it takes to change most people's minds, unfortunately a catastrophic event of some sort must take place. 

the king

I have always enjoyed reading like others have enjoyed tv. Not that I think it is a better means to learning or a better way to spend your time, just a different option. It's more that I can watch characters develop with a more openness, certain qualities become more exaggerated in books since your brain is painting the picture not your eyes. A person is able to dive into a person's feelings, and depending on how descriptive the author is get a better picture of the surroundings then if a director tried to show the same qualities. It is the subtleties in words and phrases that can get a person to grab a different meaning and understanding of a situation, where that is still able to be done in good dialogue of movies it is mostly found in text. What I've never been a fan of is contemporary authors, anything past Huxley or Burroughs never appealed to me. It may have been simply because in grade school all they assigned to us was authors like Dumas, Fitzgerald, Twain, Harper Lee and other authors that grabbed attention with their stylistic choice of fitting words, and story lines. Stories that were pushing on their readers an obvious theme or moral, doing this by hitting the right emotions, choosing the right characters, storyline, climax, etc. The qualities that always pulled me in were not only the storyline, but how the author danced around his ideas. Anything direct and obvious, like my blog, I never enjoyed, something that was not left to any interpretations but just a blatant period at the end of a book, not open to interpretation always left me bored, or uninterested. Now I've only read a few modern authors, although by my unfair bias it would seem I have been disgusted by many, but from the few I've read I found boring and focused only on the decent story. The characters always seem beige and underdeveloped. However, recently I picked up a stephen king book or rather series, something that a few years ago would have laughed at, and haven't been able to put it down. In the past six days I have read over five and a half hundred pages. And it isn't just the story that is so well written, it is the almost unnoticeable quips from the characters that define moments, the anticipation of whether or not the author will allow this character to be able to make sacrifices for an ultimate cause, and the language he uses, not pretentious, but not direct.

Only speak sober with a bottle in hand,

watch time taken from us, slip in sand,

the heavy-worn noose tied around our feet,

lead us to whatever ends we may meet.

cure for the mind

People don't have any reason to be held down or feel trapped in their brains. We are constantly on the move which keeps us busy and our minds moving. It's when we slow down that we become tangled up in emotions or thoughts that can pull us down. When we slow down is when we start to think back on what we've been doing throughout our lives, does it really have purpose or are we just going through the motions, and if we are just going through the motions is there any better way to go about it?

The cure to any critical thinking or worry is to stay busy. How can someone be caught up in bad thoughts if they are busy, they have no time to let their thoughts bring them down because they are doing some sort of activity. Now that bad thought or regret may still be in the back of their head but it doesn't affect them the way it would if they were not busy. Since they are busy a good majority of their brain, or at least part of it has to be being used to perform whatever thing they are doing. So the thought that usually would have been holding a person down if they had been sitting at home on the couch thinking, is now either a small problem or one to be worried about later.

Unfortunately you can't always push those thoughts away by being constantly busy. The thoughts or latter consequences will usually come back to remind you of your poor decision making.

So the question becomes do we stay busy to push away our regrets, or do we deal with our bad thoughts right away and try to come to some conclusion that will make the decision no longer a regret? There are always other alternatives, not doing things you would regret, or drowning those thoughts out with liquor.