all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

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The only type of woman I could see myself in the long run with is a woman of natural beauty. Someone who isn't defined by their make-up and gets caked up every morning. I often times think whether or not make-up is the reason that women generally look older then men when they get older, if it is the constant waking up to put chemicals on their face that eventually distorts them. I also believe this to be true since, native american women never seemed to age as quickly and as pathetically as a Western woman. But don't worry because the Western woman has found a way around this, gaining large sums of money and paying surgeons to fix any unwanted qualities. I think a woman of nautral beauty generally also has to be in love with nature, and everything natural for that matter. She must be loving, and never anxious or angry, she shows emotions through loving mannerisms, not loud or boastful. If you find any woman of natural beauty, you can be sure to find these qualities in her. It makes perfect sense too, since anyone who is often anxious or angry, hateful, bitter, loud, boastful, materialistic, usually has a natural opaqueness to them and instead of drawing a person in with beauty has to draw a person in with lustful qualities, which at often times works, mostly since natural beauty is a rarity in itself these days. All of those terrible qualities takes a toll not only on a person's soul and character, but also on their physical qualities. So while I am still young and able I will take whatever comes, and we'll see if I make it to become older.

anxiety of influence

The trouble with influence is that it is in itself immoral. Any influence given away, is a giving away of one's soul. The person who is being influenced is not thinking his own natural thoughts and everything that he thinks or becomes is now borrowed from someone else. To realize one's nature perfectly is what each of us is here for. Authors are influenced by other authors, poets by poets, song writers or music writers by the same. The influence that I am referring to is not the influence of natural things around them, inspirations felt through their surroundings, that is self-development through experience. What I am referring to is when one comes up with an idea of their own, or a certain style and others change their natural tendancies of what they like or dispositions to fall into the same category or, They abandon their own thoughts because they enjoy someone else's style, or sometimes rather just the position they hold in social situations. Generally it has to do with the person's style though. On second thought, or probably third thought, I think it is writer's that are influenced in that way, by the style that other writers write, the topics they choose, the certain philosophies they hold to, the aphorisms, paradoxes, stylistic poetry, and whatever other aesthetic qualities that make up styles, and are usually influenced by past writers. While in music, it seems that whatever qualities a band latches onto, is usually found in contemporary bands that they like. And as opposed to the style that influences them so much, I see it as a mix of influences, of the style that they enjoy but also the people that they enjoy hanging out with. Unfortunately influence will usually carry a band to sound like the band they are influenced by but worse, and then more generic bands begin to pop up in that category, and what once was original and showed ones soul now is generic and boring. It is impossible not to be influenced by other writers, bands, etc. etc., and thats why I wrote this.

This post was influenced by various amounts of people and their ideas.

right amount of time?

I hear people talking about where they stand at in their lives, regarding their career paths, which major their pursuing, jobs they have or don't have, how much longer they have to finish up at school, and in each circumstance I always have this idea of the standard, or correct place to be in life. Culture has seemed to do that to us, imprint some sort of correct timing on where we have to be in life at what age. A good handful of my friends don't have jobs or go to school, seem to be drifting through life, similar to the life of Cassady (except at times Cassady even resorted to jobs), enjoying the quick moments and experiences in life, the "life of a rock star". I'll find myself envious of their lifestyle at times, wishing to drop everything in times of build up of responsibilities and things to do despite the progression of what I've worked for. But then when I hang out with them for extended periods of time, I often find myself growing tired and bored of sitting around talking about petty things they've accomplished, tours they're going on, places they've been, the failings of others, nothing of any substance, and the lack of care for anything that I find interesting. And here I sit in the cafeteria of a community college as a girl across from me talks to her friend about her position as a manager working 40 hours a week, dealing with other district managers and , and the problem she has with only taking a few higher classes a semester; things such as physiology and other 200/300 classes that she needs to take to be closer to finishing up her major in some complicated branch of science. Then I have other friends who are finishing up school with jobs and a social life, what seems to be a good balance and place to be in one's early twenties. However, a handful of those have no idea where they are to head after they finish school, since they don't want to be working at their little bit higher then minimum wage job, but are wary of the idea of jumping into a career. There seems to be a quarter life crisis where a person has to figure out where they are, where they want to go, and by what time. And as our society dwindles away jobs and our money, should we be on the ball with little time for social events/life, or should we be living our twenties as much as we can, with a fair amount of balance of school and work in there as well? Since we are young and able now, should we be enjoying life as much as possible? Or just work hard and get enough money to retire as elderly and fragile in hawaii? Getting old isn't worth the work. I'll stick to my balance of professional student, worker, and traveler.